Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
