His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize