I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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