You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
