Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
