Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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