Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize