I think I won the penis lottery.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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