I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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