The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
