what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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