I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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