If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
