Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
