you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm like, not good at living.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
