thus making me awesome and them whores
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
