MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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