HIV tests are more positive than that guy
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
