I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
