Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
