Will you blow on my dice?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize