Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???