that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Panties = found
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
