i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.