Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
