my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
Pick me up at 9.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick