i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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