i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk