Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
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I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
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ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.