He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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