office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
