There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
