so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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