It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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