Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
