this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize