my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
being pregnant is like rehab
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
