i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
