so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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