left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
