i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
whose parrot is this?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
