i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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