I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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