she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
