Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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