You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
