I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
