Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
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He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I believe in your delicious
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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