That's when you crack a 10am beer
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
