Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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