i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
