I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
