You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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