You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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