This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
