It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
