I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
