i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
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