halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
