I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
