His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
