i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Drake has all the answers
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
