I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
