Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
