I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
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Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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