i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
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