What a fucking waste of an outfit
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
